On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Thursday, October 18, 2018.
It’s only natural that divorce will impact your parenting style. For one thing, even if you and your ex or soon-to-be-ex are co-parenting, you’re doing it in two households. If you relied on your spouse to be the “bad cop” to your “good cop” (or vice-versa), you can no longer do that. You need to have a more balanced parenting style.
You may have never even taken time to identify your parenting style. However, it’s likely to change when you and your spouse separate due to a number of factors, including stress and guilt.
Stress can make people less patient and more authoritarian with their kids. Guilt about the impact of the break-up on the kids, however, can make you more permissive. You may allow behaviors that you wouldn’t have before. You may give in to requests you would have previously denied. It’s important to find a balance between an authoritarian style and a permissive one.
Another reason why it’s understandable that your parenting style will change when you and your spouse split is that your children’s needs will change. They will have issues and needs they didn’t have before.
However, consistency and stability are more crucial than ever for your kids. If your parenting style changes completely, you’ll likely increase your kids’ anxiety. They need some predictability from their parents, especially when everything about their lives is seemingly changing.
If you’re having difficulty adjusting to your new role as a part-time single parent, you’re not alone. It may be worthwhile to find a family therapist to help you and your kids through this time. You may want to ask your co-parent to be involved as well. Some therapists recommend joint therapy for newly divorced parents to help them through this transition. Your family law attorney can likely recommend some good therapists in your area.