Sometimes, parents find it hard to focus on quality time with their children when life is so demanding. Instead of really connecting with your kids, you’re just trying to get them to follow rules and clean up their rooms. You’re picking up after them. You’re making dinner and putting them to bed, then telling them to get back in bed. Parenting turns into nothing but an obligation, with parents just going through the motions of rearing their children.
Parenting experts note that parents often look back on these chaotic years with young kids fondly. They wish they could have lasted longer. They wish they had focused more on quality time.
Imagining the future
One piece of advice that experts give these parents is to imagine the future. Think of that day when your crazy two-year-old is off at college. Dinner is calm, not messy. Bedtime is a non-event. The child’s room is clean, dark and vacant.
For most parents, doing this can be eye-opening. It helps them value this time with their kids, realizing how much they’ll miss it when they are once again on their own. This can help them focus on enjoying the time they have now and spending as much quality time with the kids as they can.
The impact of divorce
If you and your spouse are getting divorced, this could be one of the positive side-effects. Does that sound impossible? It may, especially if you did not ask for the divorce, but it really can happen.
After all, divorce could mean splitting custody between you and your ex. Suddenly, you get a week without the kids, every other week. Your house is quiet, dark, clean and empty. While you may enjoy not having to pick up toys or fight through bedtime, you instantly start missing your kids. You become very aware of your now-limited time with them.
That could make your weeks with the kids better than you ever dreamed. In your post-divorce life, you can work to make those minutes and hours together really count. You can focus on quality time. You’ll no longer watch TV with one eye on the bedtime clock because you’ll be focused on sharing these moments with your kids. You’ll shift your priorities from the messes they make to the memories.
You’ll learn that you can’t get that time back
In fact, it can even make your obligations more enjoyable. Cooking dinner isn’t a chore, it’s something you do together. Bedtime is no longer a battle — it’s a time for you and your children to read stories and connect as you wind down the day.
Your rights
Naturally, you must know your rights to custody as a parent. As you move forward with the divorce process, find out what you can do to make the most of your time with your children.