As a man who is leaving a relationship with children, you want to make sure you protect yourself. In your relationship, you struggled with physical and psychological abuse. You were constantly told you were stupid, ignorant and worthless. Your spouse would attack you without warning.
This is the last thing you want for your children, but how can you approach such a sensitive topic? You know you’re not the likeliest victim, but will the courts understand?
Men do suffer from domestic violence, too
The reality for many men is that domestic violence comes from their spouses and not from them. They may be attacked by wives or husbands, just as a woman might be attacked by her wife or husband. Everyone can become a victim of domestic violence, and the law does recognize this.
No court will want to see a child in an abusive home, so proving that domestic violence is a problem in yours will help you obtain the custody rights you want. The judge wants to know any decision about your child’s care is in your child’s best interests, and knowing about domestic violence is key to any argument you have.
In a national study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it was found that more men than women are victims of intimate partner violence, both physical and psychological. In fact, research since the 1970s has long suggested that men and women commit violence against one another at roughly similar rates. Men often were ridiculed when reporting violence, but as times have changed, that’s stopped. More men report violence today than in the past, which is why it’s better understood today.
Is there a gender bias against men in court?
There should not be a bias against men or women in any case in court. Your attorney is there to protect you against unfair biases and to make sure your concerns are heard and met with respect. You deserve to be safe in your relationship, and your child or children do, too. It’s important for you to speak up about violence, whether it’s physical, emotional or financial, so the court understands what you and your children have been though. Only with this knowledge is it possible for a judge to make a fair determination about the parenting rights and abilities of each person involved in a custody case. It’s something that has to be brought to the surface quickly.