What To Do When Parents Disagree About Vaccinating Their Children

smohajer
March 14, 2022
Child Custody/child custody and parenting plans/COVID-19
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Vaccinations are a hot topic for parents, especially in light of the new COVID-19 vaccine available for older children. The new COVID-19 vaccination is causing some tension between parents who might be uncertain about whether the vaccine is safe. Both parents have to approve all vaccinations. If one parent does not want the child to be vaccinated, that can cause a serious disagreement between the parents. Vaccinations and Parenting Plans If you are a parent dealing with a conflict about the COVID-19 vaccination, you should first look at your parenting plan. When parents share custody, they must create a parenting plan that sets out some of the key areas of shared parenting. Medical needs and care are almost always one of the topics addressed as part of this plan. It can cover everything from braces to mental health care to vaccines. The parenting plan sets out how vaccines should be treated in many cases. Because the new COVID-19 vaccine is, in fact, a vaccination, it might be generally covered in your parenting plan as part of a general vaccine discussion, along with other “normal” vaccinations like tetanus and Hepatitis B. Enforcing Vaccination Provisions in Parenting Plans There is a lot of debate about the safety and effectiveness of the COVID-19 vaccination. Because it is a “hot topic,” some parents outright ignore the vaccination requirements in their parenting plans. Remember that a parenting plan was already agreed upon by the parties and approved by the court. If your parenting plan includes a provision about vaccines that is being ignored, you can take action. You can ask the court to enforce the parenting plan by working with a family law attorney to file a motion to bring it to the court’s attention. If the other parent still ignores the plan and court order, the court can sanction the other parent using a variety of methods. If the parenting plan does not have a vaccine provision and requires both parents to agree on medical care, do not ignore that provision! Simply getting the child the vaccine without telling the other parent can put you in legal hot water. Acting in the Child’s Best Interests Every decision the court makes must be with the child’s best interests in mind. If there is no provision about vaccinations in your parenting plan or if you (or the other parent) are trying to get around the requirements, the court will consider what is in the child’s best interests before permitting the vaccination. In some cases, getting the vaccine might not be in the child’s best interests. For example, the court will consider whether the child has an underlying medical condition that increases the potential complications from the vaccine as part of its decision. Other factors, including whether the child wants the vaccine (if they are older), might also be considered. At Mohajer Law Firm, we fight for our clients and the best interests of their children. If you have questions about handling vaccine disagreements, contact our office to schedule a free consultation. [yotuwp type=”videos” id=”6u59YWsTKnY” ]

What should you address in your parenting plan?

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Wednesday, August 21, 2019. Parenting plans are an important part of making sure you and your ex-spouse can raise your child collaboratively, even though you’re not living together. Parenting plans help keep routines, expectations, and rules the same between homes. They help your child know what to expect no matter where they are. Good parenting plans typically address a number of factors including: The parenting time schedule Medical care information, including how it will be paid for, who will provide insurance and who will care for your child when they are sick Education information, including where your child will go to school, who pays for expenses related to school, who has to go to parent-teacher conferences and other information regarding education Parenting guidelines, such as rules about discipline, diet and other routines A good parenting plan can help improve and protect your child’s relationship with you and your co-parent. If the two of you are communicating well and raising your child collaboratively, there may be fewer arguments or disruptions that hurt your child’s relationship with you both. Good communication helps parenting plans work You may also want to use your parenting plan to set up guidelines on how you and your co-parent will communicate with one another and with your child when they’re not in your home. This can help minimize conflicts about lack of communication. Your attorney will talk to you about what you can and cannot include in your parenting plan based on state law. This will help you as you work to negotiate the details of your parenting plan with your co-parent.

How do you make a great parenting plan?

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Friday, June 14, 2019. Child custody is an important part of your divorce. While it’s essential to get the right custody plan in place, what’s almost as essential is getting a parenting plan together that you’re both happy with. Parenting plans differ from custody because they guide what you can or cannot do when your child is in your custody. The plans talk about what you expect and what your responsibilities are. For example, you might list off which religion your child will be practicing and where, the kinds of activities your child can or cannot do and what you expect to happen if your child is sick or injured. How can you create a parenting plan? Parenting plans are made between divorcing parents, so if you already don’t agree, you may need to work with your attorneys to negotiate or go through mediation. Both of you can draw up a parenting plan you’d be happy with and then compare notes. Whatever you have that is the same should be included in your final plan. If there are things you don’t agree on, you can negotiate at your mediation session or with the help of your attorneys.

What’s the purpose of a parenting plan?

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Friday, May 3, 2019. Parenting plans are very important when you’re going to live apart from your child and have to work together with an ex-spouse to raise your child according to both of your preferences. A parenting plan helps guide you on how to handle various situations involving your child’s care so that you both respect each other’s own wishes. A parenting plan is great for parents because it gives them time to sit down together and talk about how they want to raise their child. It may address things such as: Religious upbringing Schooling Medical care and needs Holiday or custody arrangements Time-sharing schedules Parenting plans absolutely must include a time-sharing schedule that the court can review. It must address parental responsibility, custody, and visitation. Your parenting plan should discuss legal custody rights and include information on how parents can or will communicate with their children and each other. For example, will you talk to your child through an online video game you play together? Will you communicate via text or phone call? Include that information in your parenting plan for a judge’s approval. Your parenting plan also needs to include details on how you’ll share the responsibilities and daily tasks of raising your child as well as how much time your child will share with each of you. Your parenting plan is essential to moving forward with your divorce and working together after your divorce. It should always keep your child or children’s best interests at the core of the arrangements, so you know they’re being raised as well as possible.

Caring for a child with ongoing medical needs after divorce

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Friday, February 22, 2019. If you’re divorcing and you have a child with a medical condition that requires regular treatment, therapy and/or medication, it’s essential for you and your co-parent to work to ensure that your child’s care doesn’t suffer as you share custody. Of course, ensuring that your child’s health insurance coverage continues uninterrupted is crucial. You and your co-parent need to work out which one of you will carry your child on your insurance plan. If you both have employer-sponsored health insurance, you may opt to both include your child on your plans for optimal coverage. You’ll also want to determine who will be financially responsible for co-pays and medical care not covered by insurance. You’ll likely need to work out a reimbursement system so that if the parent not responsible for paying for a child’s health care writes a check to cover a co-pay at a doctor’s office, the other parent reimburses them promptly. Co-parenting apps can make tracking and reimbursement of these expenses easy and require a minimum of direct communication between parents. Communication is key, however, when you are sharing custody of a child with a health issue — from asthma and food allergies to serious and chronic conditions and disabilities. It’s best if both of you can have the child’s medications and necessary medical equipment in your homes. It’s also crucial that you keep each other informed of any changes in your child’s condition and prescriptions as well as upcoming medical appointments, test results, and diagnoses. This can be done via an online co-parenting app if the two of you are still struggling with your direct communication. Regardless of the physical custody arrangement that parents work out, they often choose to have joint legal custody — at least when it comes to health care. This means that both parents are authorized to make decisions regarding their children’s care. This can come in handy if your child has a medical emergency. It may also be particularly helpful if you have a child who’s dealing with an ongoing medical issue. If you have concerns about how you and your co-parent will work to care for your child’s medical needs across two households, talk with your family law attorney. They can help you work to craft child custody and support agreements that focus on your child’s needs and well-being.

Keys to effectively negotiate your parenting plan

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Friday, January 25, 2019. You and your co-parent have agreed to share custody of your children. Now you need to work out the specifics of your parenting plan. This can be a challenge — particularly if the two of you still have some residual anger and distrust. However, a solid parenting plan will help you both be better parents — which is what’s in your children’s best interests. It may be tempting to leave things you can’t agree on out of the plan and deal with them when the time comes. However, this is only going to cause conflict and confusion later. It’s typically better to have a detailed plan in place that you can both refer to and that your kids can count on. Following are some tips for working out a parenting plan that you and your co-parent can both be satisfied with: List your priorities Before you can effectively negotiate, you need to know what’s important to you. Make a list of those things. Pull out a calendar and look through the year. Maybe you want the kids on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Don’t assume your co-parent will go along with that if it’s not “your” week. Ask for it and get it in the plan. Maybe you want to take the kids up to your parents’ home in Big Bear for a month in the summer. Again, seek to get it in the plan. Find out what your co-parent wants Your co-parent should determine their priorities as well. Ask what those are. Let them know that you care about what’s important to them. If they won’t tell you until you’re in the middle of negotiations, you can likely guess. This will help you plan your negotiating strategy. Be willing to compromise and concede When you know what’s important to you and your co-parent, you can give them something they want that you don’t really care about. That should help motivate your co-parent to do the same. Of course, on things that are important to both of you, you’ll likely need to compromise. You may both want the kids at Christmas, but you’ll likely need to split the holiday in some way or take turns having them in alternate years. Your family law attorney has far more experience in negotiating parenting plans than you do. They can provide valuable guidance as you go through this process.

How to make it easier for children during transitions

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Wednesday, November 14, 2018. One of the most difficult experiences for a child is being raised in two different homes after their parents separate or go through a divorce. There will be constant shuffling between the two homes, two sets of clothes, two sets of furniture, two bedrooms and sharing holidays with both parents. On top of all of this, the child will need to adjust to not seeing both parents every day. Here are some tips for making it easier for children during transitions. When a child is still adjusting to life in a new home with one of their parents, you can make things very easy on them by helping them understand their schedule. Print out the parenting schedule on a piece of paper and hang it in a commonplace, such as the refrigerator or on the corkboard above their desk in their bedroom. This allows them to prepare days in advance for going to the other home. Never have the child pack a bag for when they will be headed to the home of the other parent. Asking them to pack a bag, which is best known for a vacation, can add unneeded stress to their lives. Make sure the child has plenty of clothes in both homes, so they never have to pack a bag. When the time comes to change custody of the child, you need to keep this event free of arguments, tension and other issues that can lead to stress for the child. Don’t even attempt to whisper arguments in front of the child. It will be noticed, and they will worry that things are going to get worse. Helping a child get accustomed to various transitions in their life due to parental separation or divorce can be difficult. It’s important to handle these situations with care in order to make the child feel comfortable and adjust properly.

Be cognizant of your parenting style after divorce

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Thursday, October 18, 2018. It’s only natural that divorce will impact your parenting style. For one thing, even if you and your ex or soon-to-be-ex are co-parenting, you’re doing it in two households. If you relied on your spouse to be the “bad cop” to your “good cop” (or vice-versa), you can no longer do that. You need to have a more balanced parenting style. You may have never even taken time to identify your parenting style. However, it’s likely to change when you and your spouse separate due to a number of factors, including stress and guilt. Stress can make people less patient and more authoritarian with their kids. Guilt about the impact of the break-up on the kids, however, can make you more permissive. You may allow behaviors that you wouldn’t have before. You may give in to requests you would have previously denied. It’s important to find a balance between an authoritarian style and a permissive one. Another reason why it’s understandable that your parenting style will change when you and your spouse split is that your children’s needs will change. They will have issues and needs they didn’t have before. However, consistency and stability are more crucial than ever for your kids. If your parenting style changes completely, you’ll likely increase your kids’ anxiety. They need some predictability from their parents, especially when everything about their lives is seemingly changing. If you’re having difficulty adjusting to your new role as a part-time single parent, you’re not alone. It may be worthwhile to find a family therapist to help you and your kids through this time. You may want to ask your co-parent to be involved as well. Some therapists recommend joint therapy for newly divorced parents to help them through this transition. Your family law attorney can likely recommend some good therapists in your area.

The importance of the parenting calendar to your kids

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Thursday, July 12, 2018. If you’re a divorced parent sharing custody of your kids, you know that your parenting schedule can change with the seasons, and maybe even more frequently. Moving to a summer schedule and then back to a school year schedule can be difficult for children — particularly younger ones. Children of divorced parents need as much consistency and predictability as possible. They want to know whose house they’ll be in and who will be taking them to or picking them up from school and other activities. If their parents’ breakup is still recent, they may have anxiety that their parents will forget about them. Likely you and your co-parent have your parenting schedule on a calendar. Many parents use a shared calendar like those included in co-parenting apps. By giving your children access to your calendar, you can reduce their stress. If your children are too young for an online calendar, print it out and let them make it their own using crayons, glitter, and stickers. Then they can hang it prominently in their rooms or keep it in their backpack. You can make the decoration of the calendar a fun, shared activity with your children. This also gives them a chance to ask any questions they have about the schedule or anything else that might be on their mind as they adjust to dividing their time between households. Each parent should also have a copy of the calendar displayed in his or her home so that the kids always know where to find it. If you have to make any changes, make sure that the modifications are reflected on everyone’s calendars. Having continuity across households can go a long way towards reducing kids’ anxiety after divorce. These calendars are usually color-coded so that it’s easy for kids (and parents) to see whose house the kids will be in on any given day. Depending on a child’s age and preferences, you can print out a weekly calendar or a monthly one. Of course, parenting schedules and the broader parenting plans often require modification over the years as kids’ needs and parents’ circumstances change. If you need to seek a modification to your parenting plan or your co-parent is asking for one, it’s essential to seek the guidance of your California family law attorney to help you through the process and protect your interests.

What should your parenting plan cover?

On behalf of Mohajer Law Firm, APC posted in child custody and parenting plans on Wednesday, June 13, 2018. A thorough parenting plan can be a great tool as you and your soon-to-be-ex move to parenting your children separately. A good parenting plan can help ensure that the two of you are on the same page regarding how your kids will be raised. It can also minimize conflicts and misunderstandings that are stressful for kids. Each plan is unique, based on the children’s ages and needs. However, the following are a few basic things that your plan should address. How exchanges are handled This can include specifications for how children are dropped off and picked up when moving from the custody of one parent to another. You can specify things like whether anyone else is allowed to transport your children besides a parent. You can designate whether kids can be dropped off or picked up at locations other than their parents’ homes (like school or daycare). Accommodations to be provided It’s best for both parents to keep some things on hand for their kids to minimize how much they have to pack and carry when they switch homes. This can include clothing, toiletries, toys, electronics, and school supplies. Some parents specify what kind of sleeping and living arrangements the child will have, such as their own rooms. How to schedule and other custody changes are handled Some parents specify how much notification is required if a parent is unable to take the kids for their scheduled custody or visitation time. If you have a co-parent who’s chronically late, you may want limit for how late he or she can be in picking up or dropping off the kids. You may also specify what kind of changes require notification of the other parent. This can include notification if there will be other people in the home, if sleeping arrangements need to be changed or if one parent wants to take a child for an unscheduled weekend. Of course, your parenting plan will require some modification as your kids get older and circumstances change. However, if you have a thorough parenting plan at the beginning, you minimize the necessity to add things to it to deal with problems you experience while sharing custody. Your California family law attorney can provide valuable guidance as you work out your parenting plan.

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